I hate getting older. Anyone who knows me well, knows that about me. I can't fathom that I am going to be 49. It still surprises me when there's not a 20 year old looking back at me in the mirror every morning. I do love birthdays but I don't like the inevitable aging part of it. I know that I'm supposed to make peace with it but I can't. Not when there's so much more to do.
I feel like I am just getting started. Like I've just figured out where I am heading. I feel as if one part of my life is ending and a new part is beginning. I'm ready, or am I? Depends on the day, but most days I think I'm ready to fly.
So, my 49th year is only hours away. I hope I use it wisely but also spend it extravagantly as if I have all the time in the world. I want peace and stillness in my soul and laughter and exuberance in my heart. I still want to be the first one ready to go anywhere and the loudest and the last one to leave the party. I hope I'm never satisfied with where I am and continue to search for answers to all of my questions. I want to give more, love more and help where I am needed. I want to fly.
Thanks for listening...for sharing my journey. And I hope next year this time, I still hate getting older.
18" x 24" oil on canvas